I am a mother to a daughter and I have been dismayed at the things that runs through the minds of girls her age. While she was in 2nd grade, she told me that there was a group of girls that was mean to her and my first thought was: "That clique-shit starts in elementary school?!" Apparantly, my daughter asked a girl to move out her way (her exact words were: Excuse me, I am trying to get by, please.) and apparantly this was much too nice for the little girl who told her: "I dont have to move for you". Now my daughter, sensitive soul she is, was very upset by this because, in her mind, she had done everything right: she said please, was polite, and asked nicely if the girl would let her by. She came home from school very upset about it and I had to reveal to her a great shocker: some people are mean just to be mean. Bewildered, she asked: So should I be mean?
Now this was kind of a hard question for me, even though it should've been easy because I believe that nasty people are just unhappy people and need to be loved back to the real world (idealistic, but true) but this can't be the case for 7 yr olds. No way. I'm sure these little heathens were mean because their parents taught them that this was an acceptable way to behave. I wanted to tell her to blast them and tell em that their parents hadn't taught them manners and that being mean now was going to cause heartache later or to even just push past them next time without excusing herself. All of these, of course, are bad responses, but I had my 6yr old crying in front of me about bad treatment and I wanted vengeance!
sigh
But I did what Jesus would do and I taught her a lesson. I asked: Are you a mean person? and she said no. and I asked her: how did it feel when the girls were mean to you? She said: it made me sad because I am nice and they were being rude. They won't be friends with me. I asked: do you want to be friends with them? she said: not anymore. I dont like mean people. It must be sad to be mean all the time.
I told her it took a lot of energy and time to be mean to people and she should always be true to herself and who she was. Then I asked her: Who are you?
she said: I'm a nice person. And I am a good friend, but they won't know it, because I can't be friends with meanies.
Lesson learned.
But it brought up the neverending question:
WTH are these parents teaching/not teaching their children? I have visited my kids school on numerous occasions and I have seen kids teasing each other about who got the new Jordans when they first came out vs. who got them a few weeks afterwards and who was stupid and who got all F's on their report cards...I have seen some deplorable behavior, and my kids are in elementary. I balk at the thought of what goes on in junior high and high school. I mean, and stop me if I am wrong: what 8yr old needs to know what day Jordans come out? I can understand about kids liking shoes, but should an 8yr old be following shoe trends that closely?
and what about the little girls who wear uniform skirts so short they show pantylines? and knee high boots? and high-wedge sandals? and weaves down their backs? I actually heard an argument between two girls about whose belly was flatter...why should this be a hot topic?
It truly scares/disheartens me that these kids are our future...While I try to positively influence every child that comes across my path, I can't touch them all. And if the parents are not taking the time to lead them to greatness, then the popular media will get them. We will have a bunch of Nikkis and Waynes on our hands...and we see how great THATS turning out...
Am I the only one alarmed that our children can sing every song on the radio, but cant read a book? My daughter's teacher was surprised that my daughter can read 2 grade levels higher than she expected...
I think that if parents spent just HALF the effort on reading to their children and spending quality time with them than dressing them in the "flyest gear", then we would be raising the next generation of innovators, inventors and leaders instead of the next great prison and baby-mama population...
Parents need to raise their children or STRAP UP
Yup, I said it! Prove me wrong! or better yet, go read to your child!
Stay Tuned
The truth, the whole and nuttin but
You sure said a mouth full; and your right somebody has to say it; somebody has to bring to the table topics nobody wants to talk about. This problem goes back to Life Span Development; if the parent has not matured, then how can they instruct the child. This has nothing to do with age, race, or community, because you find a little of everything in every community. Some children tease and bullied by other children because of their; clothing, community status; skin complexion; ethnic background; and grades. All of which; should not be the topic of under age children, but your right it is a learned behavior, these children are not getting this stuff from the television. These personalities are living and breathing right inside their homes, the parents not only teach bad behavior, but sometimes promote bad behavior. Many of these parents also have a lack of development in some areas, they may seem to have things all together, but apparently there is something missing, or not clicking that they would put children at risk, to prove their own selfish points. Then other parents and children have to learn to work around people with bad behavior; that no one wants to confront or deal with; simply put it is easier to turn away as though the problem does not exist, or simply feel like the problem does not personally effect them, then why bother. But hear is the thing; these same children with bad behavior grow into adults with bad behavior; live in communities still with bad behavior; find jobs and go to work with bad behavior; get married to somebody else child with bad behavior; end of dead or in jail all because of bad behavior, until somebody is bold enough to say STOP!!! Thank you for being honest and bold enough to say STOP; and sending the message enough is enough.
ReplyDeleteLafrances